Not too long ago, I watched a video of a man who walked around town for his regular errands. As he walked around the downtown area, he simply showed appreciation and complimented people. You would hear him say things like, “Nice car, man” … “hey, I like your shoes” … or a genuine “thanks so much, have a great day!” His kind remarks were genuine … and people knew it. People usually understand the difference between a genuine comment and a remark made to fill in the empty space. The response was telling! Without exception, the response was an immediate smile and a “thank you!” The impact that genuine edification makes is stunning. We must purposely choose to build one another up.
Edify One Another
Rom. 14:19. Romans 14 calls us to be aware of stumbling blocks and to purposely avoid causing others to stumble. It is in this context that when we reach verse 19, we are instructed to make every effort to do what leads us to peace and mutual edification. This is an often-repeated theme throughout the Pauline epistles! You will read of the call to edify: Acts 20:32; I Corinthians 8:1, 10; 10:23; 14:4; Ephesians 2:20; I Thessalonians 5:11.
Edify simply means to “build up.” How much time do we spend complaining or judging one another? How much time do we spend building up or tearing down one another? There is no command to judge others. There is no admonishment to complain about one another. HOWEVER, there is clear command in scripture to edify one another!
Give your own heart some honest evaluation between you and God’s Word. Think about it for a few minutes:
1. The boss just gave the promotion to another employee…what do you do?
2. A co-worker or your children did NOT do their job very well…what do you do?
3. Your spouse was not very productive all day, but when you got home, your spouse has a bunch of chores wanting to be done…what do you do?
4. A group of friends get together for dinner, and they start talking about a church member/leader or co-worker with whom they are frustrated – you might even be frustrated with the church member/leader…what do you do?
5. You see friends excluding you and you are feeling insecure…what do you do?
6. Friends seem to be avoiding you and stop talking to you…what do you do?
7. Other believers are assuming the worst about someone, and you only have 50% (at best) of the story from a friend…what do you do?
“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”
—William Arthur Ward
It has been discovered that it takes 10 positive comments to equal the weight of one negative comment. This would mean that we would need to restrict the complaints, judging spirit, and negativity to be less than 10% percent of our attitudes and speech in any given day to truly be an effective “edifier.” I mean, think about it…would you feel encouraged if someone just gave you 3 complaints about your life’s work (being a mother/father, a teacher, a supervisor) and then ended with, “I like your pen…can I borrow it?” Yet, if that same person gave genuine appreciation about 2 or 3 things you are doing well, then shared an area you could improve, and then ended with 2 more things you are doing well – wouldn’t that encourage you more?!
Jesus was genuinely interested in people. Jesus pursued building up others and He minimized judgment during His earthly ministry (Jn. 3:17). Lest we forget, Jesus alone is the one true judge (Jn. 5:22-23) and all will answer to Him and His judgment (I Cor. 4:5; II Cor. 5:10; Rev. 20:11-15). We sometimes believe that judging others is our righteous duty. Yet, Jesus (the true judge) did not tolerate sin, but called sinners to repentance, and showed mercy and forgiveness to those who sought it!
IMMORALITY…
Jesus helped the woman at the well (Jn. 4:4-42). She was a Samaritan and was an unmarried woman living with a man who was the 6th man with whom she had a relationship. The Jews saw the Samaritans as outcasts and despised them. The community treated her like an outcast for her immorality (seen in her coming to the well alone…this activity would have been a social highlight for women of the day). This woman is morally, spiritually bankrupt…and yet, Jesus shows genuine love despite the sin. He did not shun or condemn her as those around her had done, but rather, Jesus called this Samaritan woman to repentance (Jn. 4:13-14). He showed kindness that “edified” to the point of compromising His reputation.
Jesus values us so much that He pursues us, happily invites us to deeper relationship with Him, and He even rejoices in our worship of Him. This. Is. Edifying.
NEEDY…
Jesus stopped His important time schedule and added something to it. He had a very full day and much yet to do. He had just healed a demon possessed man, made a small journey in a boat, and was then greeted with an exceptionally large crowd as He departed from the boat. The Bible says that there were so many that they were pressing on Him. Jairus (a leader in the synagogue) got to Jesus first and pled for Jesus’ help to save his dying daughter. However, as Jesus began to go with Jairus, a woman with the issue of blood had touched His garment, and Jesus said that He perceived power had gone out from Him (Mk. 5:24-34). The sick woman who had tried everything to get well identified herself to Jesus. Jesus does not chastise her for touching him, or bothering him, or delaying His departure to heal a dying person. Instead, Jesus says her faith has made her whole (Mk. 5:34).
We have our schedules, don’t we? We definitely prioritize our schedules for what we consider important. A dying person is clearly high on the list of priorities, yet Jesus does not push others aside along the way. Jesus edifies / builds up – to the point of compromising His urgent departure before a daughter dies and to the point of compromising His rights of personal space – to help a woman who has struggled for 12 years.
There are no unimportant people who cross our daily path! Jesus will sometimes interrupt our schedule for something He deems more needy.
MENIAL SERVICE…
Jesus was about to be arrested and beaten beyond our understandings of today’s punishments for harden criminals. However, before that was to transpire, and before He would even take His disciples to pray with Him in the garden, He surprised them all. During that last supper in the upper room, He washed their feet (Jn. 13:1-17). With this act of menial service, Jesus demonstrated His servant leadership and humility through a task usually assigned to the lowest servant in the home. This foot washing also contrasted the current root attitude of His disciples…and this whole account demonstrates our role as the body of Christ. Is not this consistent with all of Jesus’ earthly ministry? He came to earth born in a stable, laid in a manger (Matt. 1:18-23). He taught that He came not to be served, but to serve (Matt. 20:28). But the ultimate act of such humble service would be His work on the cross (Jn. 19).
Such lowly service is filled with blessing for the laborer and the receiver. Such lowly service truly edifies others! Do not forget that James 1 reminds us that pure religion is to visit the fatherless and widows (the needy) in their affliction and to live holy lives.
Have you lost sight of serving others? Are we simply sitting on the pews waiting to be served?
Jesus edified others to the point of compromising His royalty. What keeps us from purposely pursuing building up others? What person or persons - whether they are in your church or not - is God sending to cross your path this week, that you might show genuine interest in them as a person and impact their journey by building them up?
Dale Carnegie wrote in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, some incredibly wise and biblically applicable advice:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
2. Smile. If you want to draw others to you, light up your face with a smile.
3. Remember names. A person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound to that person.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Treat others the way they want to be treated. Source: How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie
Sound familiar? Dale Carnegie did not receive this revelation from God. Jesus revealed such life altering truth as “edify one another.” Dale Carnegie’s advice simply applied Biblical truth (whether he realized it or not). We must purposely choose to build one another up.