Here is a true story related to me by the family who lived these experiences.
A family walked into a Baptist church. The door was opened by a man who spoke no words to them. They followed him to the doors of the sanctuary and heard him say, “They hate it when I interrupt them” and then left them standing there all by themselves. They found a seat and sat through SS and the worship service. During this time, they realized that the man who opened the door for them was the pastor. After church, many rushed out the door. Some chatted with others, but many families were not greeted by anyone. They never went back to that church and the church eventually folded. It is crucial for the church to greet each other with genuine love and kindness.
Greet One Another
Romans 16:16; I Cor. 16:20; II Cor. 13:12
After Paul finishes his personal greetings, he instructs the church family to greet each other in a friendly, Christian way. This was to be reciprocal and from their own action. In other words, this greeting was not to be seen as from Paul as a third-party delivery system.
What draws our attention is the last prepositional phrase – “with a holy kiss.” A greeting kiss was a common Eastern (oriental) – and especially Jewish – custom…specifically among Christians. The description of a “holy” kiss was to exhort the believers to guard against any improper familiarity or scandal. This is the call for the Christians to show genuine love and kindness to one another in the church with specific action.
Although the practice of a “holy kiss” has been practiced in some modern-day foreign nations among believers (I heard of such practices in Russia, but the story was related about church meetings in the 1990s) – the holy kiss has not taken root as a custom in our current day in the USA. However, this does not exclude us from this exhortation of greeting one another…of being known to one another through genuine love and kindness through purposeful actions.
Our son was traveling recently and went inside a local grocery store around 10:30 at night. Every single employee he and his wife came across greeted him with a warm “hello!” and “welcome to ______ store.” One employee even saw they needed a cart, and he told them he would be right back with a cart! Their response was something like, “Where in the world are we?! Do they think we are someone famous and important?”
Here is the answer. Those employees understood how to treat people as people (and not another customer). Luke and Hannah were more prone to return to that store because they were treated with such kindness by EVERYONE…and not just by the store manager. The church should be treating people in such fashion – better than any local grocery store or major corporation! It is not about customer service training. It is not about others seeing me as super spiritual. It is not about being better than another believer. It is not about appearing holy, and it is not about greeting others because others are greeting them.
Please hear this! Treating others with genuine love and kindness (greeting them at church) is about seeing them as those created in the image of God...just like I am.
Gen. 1:26-27; Matt. 25:40. For as I do unto others, so I do unto God! We cannot honor God and mistreat those who bear His image.
It is about treating them as God has treated and is treating me! It is about not just telling others about the love of Jesus – it is about showing others the love of Jesus – because Jesus means that much to you! I John 3:18.
Take note of 4 Bible Realities for greeting one another:
1. “Greeting one another” was to be practiced while assembled as a local church.
2. The greeting was to be so clearly loving and kind that the custom of the day (a “holy kiss”) was used among the Jewish community.
3. You cannot be known by your genuine love and kindness to others in the church unless you actually interact with them.
Sitting in my pew, waiting for others to come to me, does not fulfill this exhortation.
Sitting in my pew, hoping others will not come to me, does not fulfill this exhortation.
Avoiding making connections with anyone before or after a church service, really makes it hard to fulfill an exhortation that was meant to be fulfilled when gathered together as a church.
4. We cannot greet everyone in any given week…but we can greet some!
Greet those who sit around you.
Turn around and warmly talk with others attending church.
Get up and walk a few pews away to greet someone who is new to you or who is sitting all alone.
Invite those sitting by themselves to sit with you.
Welcome someone who is new to you. Make sure they find a seat or offer a seat on your row. Help them find a bulletin or the restrooms. Don’t let them stand there or sit there all alone, looking confused, or struggling to know what to do. Don’t wait for them to ask – if you see them in need, offer assistance. Go the extra distance in helping them.
Be careful to greet others without degrading others. Using gossip, complaint, and murmuring to make connections does not communicate genuine love for the ones of which you are speaking about – and it is also impossible to show love and kindness to others while using sinful ways to do so. Sin (though deceptive) does not communicate true love, compassion, edification, and the warm greeting the scriptures command a believer to pursue.
I took a few minutes to list this out, because sometimes we cannot see ourselves. Sometimes we truly do not realize how unloving and unkind our actions are to others. But why all this?!
Because we are only truly known as disciples of Jesus by genuine love and kindness!
John 13:34-35
Consider this account that is based on similar stories through the years of our ministry (some ending worse than this account). Thomas was rushed. During the church service, his mind was going through a list of 10 different things needing his attention that afternoon. Phyllis was distracted as well. She could not remember the temperature she left the stove on for the pot roast. She was getting concerned dinner would not be ready in time. Joan was thinking about her job and how her boss yelled at her in front of the others on Friday. Joanne was mad at Phyllis for ignoring her on the way into church…and Bob…Bob was exhausted. He just finished a 75-hour work week. He fell asleep during the service. The church service ended. Some stood around talking and some stumbled there way out the door without saying a word to another person. It was that day that Jacob & Mary (newer to the church) talked about leaving that church on their way home. They did not know many (if any people) very well and this was the 3rd week no one engaged them in conversation. They felt awkward and like strangers in their own church. They described the church as a group of people who were friendly to the regular group and but distant to outsiders. However, the next week they came, Phyllis crossed their path and introduced herself. She apologized for not meeting them in the earlier weeks they attended. As Phyllis was ending her conversation, Thomas & Joan approached them and introduced themselves. They said they had been wanting to get to know them and wanted to know if they would be interested in sitting with them and joining them for lunch after church. They were glad for this breakthrough and embraced it. They felt seen and genuinely loved…treated with kindness. They only wished it had happened sooner.
Sometimes, a church is overtaken with wanting to be known for:
The most conservative church in town
The most dressed up church in town
The most God-honoring church in town
The only church that preaches the truth in town
The best music in town
The best youth program in town
The best facilities in town
…however, the Lord said He wanted us to be known as the most loving church in town. Have you gotten off tract with how you want to be known? We may have succeeded in being known how we want to be known — but how well are we doing with being known by how God wants us to be known?
Church of God, it is crucial for us to greet each other with genuine love and kindness.
How are you known?