Through almost three decades of raising children in our home, we have had numerous steps of growth. In their younger years, they started choosing their own outfits they would wear for the day and getting themselves dressed. As they grew, they would take on chores with more responsibility and skill (i.e. – cooking dinner or doing the laundry). Then came the longing to drive a car, but to get a driver’s license they had to get a job to pay for their driver’s education class and car insurance. Among these various changes in their life was the day they got an alarm clock to wake themselves up for school or work. Some of them would hear the alarm almost immediately, and others would not hear it until the whole house was awake and someone was pounding on their door, pleading with them to turn off their alarm! Sometimes, we simply do not want to hear the wake-up call and some of us have a harder time recognizing the wake-up call is for us. We must watch for warning signs of an unhealthy home. Let’s continue with three wake-up calls in an unhealthy home.
The first wake-up call seen in preacher Eli’s unhealthy home was perverse living (I Samuel 2:12, 22-25). His boys “knew not the LORD” and lived immorally. His boys literally led others to sin, and their evil reputation was well known among the church.
Reverse Priorities (2:29)
“When you are born, you look like your parents. When you die, you look like your choices.” – Dr. Crawford Loritts
Unconfessed/unrepentant sin will not go unnoticed forever! A “man of God” comes to Eli and asks him questions:
1. Didn’t I choose you from all of Israel?
2. Why are you rebelling (“kicking”) at what I have given you?
3. Why do you honor your sons above me?
Eli gave his sons higher priority in his heart and actions than he gave to the Lord. Eli was a permissive parent. He was more concerned about giving his children what they wanted…even at the expense of sinful choices. He was willing to look the other way. He chose to avoid confrontation. He treasured his boys more than he treasured the Lord, more than he treasured the Lord’s commands, and more than he treasured his boys’ need for God!
Unfortunately, it was not until Eli’s older years (2:22) that the Bible records his rebuking them. Permissive parenting led to doing what they thought was right – and that brings destruction (Prov. 14:12)! Permissive parenting allowed his sons to be their own parents.
“Professional baseball has been played in America since 1875, but on September 14, 1990, something happened that has never happened before or since. Late in his career, Ken Griffey, Sr., who had been a key member of the World Series champion Cincinnati Reds years before, was signed by the Seattle Mariners. His son Ken Griffey, Jr. was just starting his major league career. In the first inning of a game against the Angels, Griffey, Sr. hit a home run to left center field. His son followed him to the plate and hit another home run to almost exactly the same spot. It was the only time a father and son had hit back-to-back home runs in baseball history. Ken Griffey, Jr. said later that his father greeted him at the plate by saying, “That’s how you do it, son!” (Source: Once Upon a Game, Alan Schwarz)
It is a very special thing to see your children and your children’s children succeed in life. It is genuine joy to be witness to the next generation succeeding in sports, academics, the arts, and spiritual life. However, it must be stated that such success is not coincidence. Every victory over temptation and each achievement is the outcome of many specific efforts that prepared that child to meet the challenge they faced. “My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine. Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.”—Proverbs 23:15–16
Permissive parenting will lead a child to follow the model of their desires. God set up the home for the parents to lead, correct, instruct, and provide examples for their children to follow.
o “But I love my children” – of course you do! Praise God you love your children! However, we love our children well when we love God more!
Matthew 10:37, “He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
o How serious is the Lord on this? Luke 14:26, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”
o How far reaching is this?
Luke 14:27, “And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:33, “So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.”
Diverse Volunteers (2:31-35)
In I Samuel 2:34-35, Eli will see both of his sons die in the same day. God will then raise up another priest who will do what is in God’s heart and mind.
The work of God is not dependent on you or me. He will chasten us when needed and desire to work in us and through us (i.e. – Jonah). If we refuse, He will eventually use another. The fact is…He is not looking for the polished, perfect people of God. The Lord is looking for those who are willing!
Walter Knight told of an old Scottish woman who went from home to home across the countryside selling thread, buttons, and shoestrings. When she came to an unmarked crossroad, she would toss a stick into the air and go in the direction the stick pointed when it landed.
One day, however, she was seen tossing the stick up several times. “Why do you toss the stick more than once?” someone asked.
“Because,” replied the woman, “it keeps pointing to the left, and I want to take the road on the right.” She then dutifully kept throwing the stick into the air until it pointed the way she wanted to go.
Many people know the will of God but refuse to do it because it is not their will. (Source: Today in the Word, May 1989)
It’s crucial to look in the mirror of God’s Word and evaluate our ourselves. Are you willing to follow God’s way for your home? Or are we merely looking for “righteous justification” to pursue our own wants and desires?
