A man once purchased an old, run-down farmhouse with the dream of restoring it. The walls were cracked, the windows were broken, and the roof leaked in more places than he could count. But instead of patching things up or painting over the problems, he knew he needed to start deeper. He tore out rotting boards, replaced the cracked foundation stones, and fixed the structural beams that held the whole house together.
It took time, effort, and a willingness to dig into what couldn’t always be seen on the surface. But once the foundation was secure, everything else could be made new, strong, beautiful, and lasting.
When you trusted the Lord as your Savior, you started at the foundation of that beautiful new relationship with Jesus. The Bible says it this way, “Old things are passed away, behold, all things become new.” Starting at the foundation of our relationship with Jesus can be something we do soon after we begin this new relationship, but it can also be something we need to deal with throughout our relationship with Jesus. As this relationship matures, we realize the need to rip out rotting boards and secure elements of the foundation. Ripping out rotting boards of sin and replacing them with something new looks like hate yielding to love…envy yielding to generosity…and anger yielding to selflessness, humility, and dependence on God. Anger is the rotting board in the foundation of our spiritual homes that we want to examine today. The believer must identify the root causes to remove sinful anger that destroys relationships!
The somewhat surprising revelation of today’s Bible passage is that it is possible to be angry and not sin. The Lord Himself felt such anger in Mark 3:5. This passage says his anger was due to the “hardness of their hearts.” We also know the LORD did not sin (Hebrews 4:15). Jesus did not sin because His anger was directed at sin (it wasn’t because of personal offense, pride, or hurt feelings). Secondly, His anger was rooted in love and sorrow over their spiritual blindness (not because of bitterness or desire for revenge). Thirdly, His anger brought life (healed hand), not harm. Fourthly, He remained pure in motive and action (His emotions are always aligned with God’s character because He is sinless).
So, anger without sin is a constant with Jesus; however, not so much for us! Understanding the causation of anger can help us navigate this rotting (sinful) board in the foundation of our lives. Let’s look at 7 Root Causes to Anger:
1. Hurt
An emotional or physical wound can often stir up anger as a self-defense response. Anger is sometimes seen as a protective shield. Cain (Gen. 4:5-6) felt hurt that God accepted his brother’s sacrifice and not his sacrifice. Jospeh’s brothers (Gen. 37:4) felt unloved and overlooked and turned to anger and hatred toward Joseph. Also, consider Prov. 15:1.
2. Fear
Fear is a powerful motivation. If we happen to see our child doing something foolish and dangerous, we will often lash out with anger because we fear for their safety. We can respond with anger when we fear loss of control, fear rejection, or fear failure. Anger is used to cover the real emotion of fear. I Samuel 18:8-9 tells us that King Saul’s fear of David led him to show anger toward David. Matt. 2:3, 16 reveals King Herod’s angry massacre of children came from a fear of losing power to the prophesied Messiah.
3. Frustration
Anger can voice our frustration over obstacles blocking our goals. For example, we want to get to church by 9:30 AM but one of the kids cannot find their other shoe and another child just split their breakfast cereal down the front of them. Anger is the outcome of irritation building up over time. Balaam’s donkey blocking his way is a great example of this frustration (Numbers 22:28-29). The interesting fact of this example is that Balaam was angry over the obstacle that God put in his way!
4. Pride
Feeling disrespected or a wounded ego can definitely stir up our anger. Pride moves us to defensive remarks quickly! “Who do they think they are telling me I need to make changes to my life or that I am lazy!?”
James 4:1-2 tells us that conflicts come from the war within us. Wanting my own way can spark anger within me. Also, demanding control over people or situations can stir anger when that control is threatened. Consider King Ahab (I Kings 21:4) as a prime example of anger rooted in pride! Ahab wanted Naboth’s property, but Naboth denied the request. Ahab’s pride was hurt and he responded with sulking, rage, and eventually Naboth was killed! Also, consider Prov. 16:18; 29:23.
5. Unmet Expectations
Disappointment can frequently make a move through anger! Think about it. You saved money for a nice vacation, but the car broke down and needed very expensive repairs. Vacation is now canceled, and the response can be anger. Anger can respond when the expectation of love, fairness, or respect was denied. The prodigal’s older brother’s unmet expectation of reward for faithful service fueled his anger (Luke 15:28-29).
6. Injustice
A car cuts you off and almost causes you to crash. When you look up at the car that caused everything, they act like it was your fault. Anger shows its ugly head quickly! The root of injustice will also often bring a longing for revenge, a desire to refuse forgiveness, and the conscious choice of embracing bitterness. Eph. 4:31-32 heavily warns against “bitterness, wrath, and anger.” Holding grudges keeps anger alive! Moses lived out this root cause when he saw an Egyptian beating up a Hebrew (Ex. 2:11-12). Moses responded to the injustice with anger and killed the Egyptian! His reaction of anger clearly crossed into sin.
7. Childhood Model
Sometimes, a child grows up in a home where anger is modeled as a normal response to most of life. Learned behaviors are often caught more than they are taught. Anger can be learned behavior. This root cause can be weeded out of a life, but usually skilled counseling is required. Consider the scriptures for this root cause! Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 tell fathers not to provoke their children to anger but instead raise them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Also, Proverbs 22:24-25 warns us that anger is contagious and is learned through close association. A child with an angry parent as their model is being discipled to respond with anger!
Some of these angry responses seem justifiable. Don’t they? So, what makes anger SINFUL? Anger is sinful when:
It has no reasonable cause (when we are in no danger and we do not need it for protection…we would be safe without it.)
It exceeds the cause (the need for self-protection has ended and yet anger continues)
It is against the person rather than the offense. Sinless anger is to protect ourselves. Our goal is to NOT injure another (unless needed to protect ourselves).
It comes from desire for revenge. This is always sinful!
It is heightened by reflection (thinking over the situation, you find comfort in your anger and in fact, the anger increases).
It springs from an unforgiving spirit.
“Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” Even the Greco-Roman world believed anger was natural but was a potentially destructive emotion! This phrase has the idea of “do not cherish anger,” “do not sleep on it,” “do not harbor a purpose for revenge,” and “do not cherish ill will against another.” The simple conclusion is: if the sun sets on your anger, you can be sure it is sinful!
Barnes Notes on the Bible Commentary summarizes these two verses this way:
“If you be angry, which may be the case, and which may be unavoidable, see that the sudden excitement does not become sin. Do not let it overleap its proper bounds; do not cherish it; do not let it remain in your bosom even to the setting of the sun. Though the sun be sinking in the west, let not the passion linger in the bosom, but let his last rays find you always peaceful and calm."
One thing is for sure; this sinful anger is in the context of the “new man Christian conduct code” (4:20-24). Anger is not how the church is to be identified!
Prov. 16:18. Pride keeps us from ripping out the rotting board of sinful anger.
How can we stop the cycle of anger?
1. Thankfulness (don’t take them for granted; I Thess. 5:11; 18)
2. Selflessness (not about my needs…it’s about their needs; Phil. 2:3)
3. Communications (speaking the truth in love, Eph. 4:15)
A door-to-door salesman from a publishing house asked a lady if she owned a copy of the Bible. "I certainly do!" she replied with some pride. To his next question, did she read it regularly, she responded, "Oh, yes!" and sent her little daughter to get the Bible from the table drawer. As she showed it to the salesman, her spectacles fell from between the pages. Without thinking, she exclaimed, "Oh, here are my glasses! I've been looking for these for 3 years!" (Source: Unknown)
Yield your pride. Acknowledge the actual battle you face with your own anger (you cannot get from point A to point B without acknowledging you are at point A). Seek counsel. Ask the Lord for victory!