A study was done by ABC news a few years ago (2007). It compared how much men and women talk in an average day. The participants had a voice activated recorder to count the amount of words they spoke. It was discovered that women spoke an average of 16,215 words a day and men spoke 15,669 words a day. Then in 2025, an updated study on the same topic was published. It showed that men and women between the ages of 10 to 24 and those 65 and older all spoke about the same amount of words on a daily basis. However, the study also revealed that women spoke about 3,000 more words a day than men if they fell between the ages of 24 to 64. In that age group, women were found to speak about 21,845 words a day, while men spoke about 18,570 words a day. (Source: 3000 More Words)
We speak a lot of words in a given day! The more we speak, the more prone we are to have opportunity to speak evil. Protection against corrupt communication is rooted in protecting the heart. My heart must be guarded if I am ever to build others up with my communications!
Consider the context of this passage:
Ephesus was a major city in the Roman Empire. It was wealthy, diverse, and deeply influenced by pagan worship, particularly the cult of Artemis. The city’s culture was full of immorality, coarse speech, and idolatrous practices. So, when Paul writes to believers in Ephesus, he urges them to stand out from that surrounding culture. He admonishes them to live and speak in ways that reflect their new identity in Christ, not the values of their old life.
In the ancient world, speech was often used as a display of status or wit. It was filled with boasting, slander, and gossip. Paul is calling believers to a radically different use of words: not to tear down or impress, but to build up and give grace. Let’s examine this instruction from Ephesians 4:29.
Rotten Communicating
The word “corrupt” means unwholesome, rotten. The idea is that of a putrid vegetable. The primary sense of this instruction is in reference to words that are bad, profitless, worthless, filthy, of no-good use.
Ronald Reagan once told the following story: “I once addressed a very large, distinguished audience in Mexico City and sat down to some rather scattered and unenthusiastic applause. And I was somewhat embarrassed, even more so when the next man who spoke, a representative of the Mexican government speaking in Spanish, which I don’t understand, was being interrupted virtually every other line with the most enthusiastic kind of applause. To hide my embarrassment, I started clapping before anyone else and longer than anyone else until our ambassador leaned over and said to me, ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you; he’s interpreting your speech.” (Source: Ronald Reagan: The Great Communicator, Ronald Reagan and Frederick J. Ryan)
The Lord does better than interpret our speech. He knows every motive of every word we speak. He knows the true intent and the words we whisper in the quiet privacy of our own hearts! Are you congratulating yourself on a job well done that is nothing more than one of manipulation and deceit? Have you forgotten the ear of the LORD stands in perfect understanding of every word you utter (audibly AND mentally)?
I don’t’ know where this rotten communication comes from! It comes from your heart! Our words reveal our spiritual condition.
Grace-filled hearts speak grace-filled words.
Proverbs 15:28 – “The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.”
Luke 6:45 – “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
Matthew 12:34 – “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.”
Pros and Cons of my Communications
James 1:26 – WORTHLESS. Not controlling your speech = empty religion. “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.”
Proverbs 21:23 – DISCIPLINE. Controlling your speech = staying out of trouble. “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.”
Proverbs 13:3 – PROTECTION. “He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.”
So, what is the answer? Guard and transform your heart! This is so important that James 3 provides some warnings about our words:
v. 2 – The problem is universal. We all will offend!
v. 5 – The problem has a powerful potential. The tongue is small, but it is powerful!
v. 8 – The problem is hopeless without Jesus. It is not humanly possible to control the tongue!
v. 10 – The problem is complicated with mixed messages. Just and corrupt speech should not come from the same mouth!
Ripe Realities
“…but that which is good to the use of edifying….”
The letter to the Ephesians emphasizes unity in the body of Christ (see 4:1–16). Corrupt talk (gossip, bitterness, harshness) destroys that unity. Instead, speech that “builds up” strengthens the fellowship and mirrors God’s character toward others. The next verse (4:30) goes as far as to show us that God’s Spirit grieves over our destructive speech. God’s Spirit will produce words that heal, not harm.
“Encouragement is like peanut butter, the more you spread it around, the better things stick together.”
(Source: Unknown)
Edifying is the opposite of “corrupt communication.” Edifying speech is the speech that ought to be connected to the church. Earlier in Ephesians 4 and then again in Colossians 3, the transformation of the church’s speech is seen as a purposeful choice for the ‘new man.’
The best use of speech is to edify those we come in contact with. This is a choice affected by the heart just like corrupt speech is a choice affected by the heart!
The problem is my heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. What do I do about that?
I need to be transformed! Romans 12:2
I need to trust the Lord! Isaiah 26:4
I need to have a teachable spirit! Ps. 119:66; Ps. 86:11
Refreshing Remarks
This last phrase of verse 29, “may minister grace to the hearer,’ sums up this countercultural exhortation. The Greek word for grace (charis) is used throughout the New Testament for English words like grace, favor, and kindness. Basically, Paul is telling the church to let their words be instruments through which God’s grace flows to others.
Our words should refresh and bless people, not drain and damage would them!
A woman bought a parrot because the pet shop owner promised, “This bird has been around church people. It knows lots of Christian words.” Sure enough, when she got it home, the parrot said things like, “Praise the Lord!” and “God is good!”
But after a few days, the parrot started repeating what it heard from the woman when she was stuck in traffic or burned dinner…and it wasn’t “Praise the Lord.”
Embarrassed, she called the pet store and said, “This parrot has a serious problem with its mouth!”
The owner replied, “Ma’am, the parrot doesn’t have a mouth problem. It has a microphone problem. It just repeats what it hears.”
That’s true of us, too. Our words echo whatever’s playing in our hearts. If our speech is harsh, complaining, or critical, that’s what’s been looping inside. Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). You can change your vocabulary for a while, but unless your heart playlist changes, the same words will keep playing again.
Church, guard your heart at all times! A grace-filled heart will speak grace-filled words.