A man bought 2 tickets to the Super Bowl, costing him $1700. However, he did not realize when he purchased them that the big game was on the same day as his upcoming wedding. So, he ended up putting an ad in the paper like this:
Super Bowl tickets purchased for $1700, but getting married the same day. So, if interested, she will be at St. Peter’s Church…she has blonde hair, makes $90,000 a year…and will be in a white dress.
One woman commented on her husband’s unsavory disposition: “He can be nice when he wants to . . . he just never wants to!” (Source: Unknown)
We will always make room for what we truly want to do. Our “wants” are impacted by the repetition of our thoughts. So, when our “wants” are ungodly, we need to reexamine the repetition of our thoughts (Prov. 4:23; 23:7; Phil. 4:8). We must evaluate what we want in our homes and why we want it. What breaks the cycle of a HEALTHY home life?
Highest Priority is Immediate Gratification
Genesis 25:29. Jacob and Esau had a driving force for immediate gratification, and it was their undoing. They were brothers, but their similarities pretty much stopped with having the same parents.
Jacob preferred inside (25:27), was his mother’s favorite (25:28), his skin was smooth (27:11), and he enjoyed cooking.
Esau worked in the fields, was his father’s favorite, his skin was hairy, and he enjoyed hunting.
Genesis 25:29 says Esau came in from the field and was faint. The word “faint” here means exhausted, wearied, and languishing. In other words, Esau is weak and tired…and he smells food! Now add to that – Esau is also weak in character (but Jacob is as well).
There boys had some serious character flaws! Some of which were little respect for authority and struggles with patience. Esau took two wives of the heathen because it grieved his parents (Gen. 26:34-35) … and Jacob sought something that was not his to have – the birthright. They wanted what they wanted and they wanted NOW – no matter the consequences.
Immediate gratification was a PRIMARY objective for them.
Genesis 25:30. Esau’s next move is common to mankind. He is hungry…he smells food…he asks for some food! Seems like a reasonable request – right?
Genesis 25:31. What follows next is an uncommon response. Jacob (the brother) responds to the request of “Please, feed me” with “give me your birthright!” Esau asks for food and Jacob makes a life changing demand.
Imagine a young man has inherited his family’s estate that has been passed down for generations. The land is rich with resources and its value grows every year. One day, he finds himself in financial trouble and is desperately hungry. Instead of thinking long-term or seeking help, he goes to a restaurant and offers to trade the entire estate for a single meal. The restaurant owner, knowing the land’s worth, quickly accepts the offer. The meal comes to an end and the young man is satisfied, but only for a moment. This is very similar to what Esau did for a bowl of soup!
What is Jacob asking for when asking for his brother’s birthright?
SUCCESSION to the earthly inheritance of Canaan;
POSSESSION of the covenant blessing given through the father
ORIGINATION - the individual from whom the promised seed are descended.
If that is not enough, there is more! The privileges of the firstborn birthright were clearly defined in Genesis and then affirmed in Exodus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. They involved succession to:
The official authority of the father;
A double portion of the father’s property
The functions of the domestic priesthood (Genesis 27:4, 19, 27-29; Genesis 49:3; Exodus 22:29; Numbers 8:14-17; Deuteronomy 21:17).
This is a big jump. A bowl of soup is exchanged for an inheritance! Jacob seizes the opportunity of Esau’s weakness for his own gain. So, although Jacob was calculating and conniving – Esau was short-sighted and self-focused.
During summer camp, the teens would often play tug-of-war over a mud pit at some point in the week. The team with strength and determination would win; however, the motivation of not falling into the mud pit was a powerful motivation!
Jacob and Esau are playing tug-of-war with motivations of manipulation (Jacob) and impulsivity (Esau). They both fought to get what they wanted in life. What brought these boys to such character flaws? Why were they so impatient, disrespectful, and insistent on immediate gratification? I believe the answer is in Genesis 25:27-28.
The father was selfish. “And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison.” (25:28) Isaac stated reasoning for loving Esau more is because he liked his venison? Sounds selfish, doesn’t it? But parents, do we like one child more:
o because they perform in public better…
o because they are attentive to your desires…
o because they treat you better…
o because they do what you want more than the others do?
Children have far more perception and understanding than they are often given credit. Sometimes they will perceive wrong before we realize the wrong ourselves! Are your motives for loving your children pure and above reproach or are they self-serving?
The mother was rebellious…willing to deceive and go against her own husband (27:13).
Family training is often better caught than it is taught.
Make no mistake. We must understand our rebellion is first and foremost against God. Think about it for a moment…
o What is your biblical role in the home?
o What is your biblical role as a believer?
o How do you measure up to these Bible roles? These are roles that your children see all day long!
Do they hear you say, “respect your authority” but then hear you talk disrespectfully about others?
Do they hear you say, “act like you love your siblings!” But they watch you ignore those close to you?
Do they hear you say, “you need to ask for forgiveness from God and me for your sin.” But they never hear you ask them for forgiveness for losing your temper, being dishonest, unkind, or just having a grumpy / angry day?
A rebellious or selfish parent is a swift pathway to rebellious or selfish children.
Both parents showed favored attention to their children (Gen. 25:28). This breeds jealousy, envy, bitterness, hate, and more! These boys knew how to play the game and get what they wanted. No wonder they insisted on immediate gratification as adults. This was how they were trained as children. A parent’s model of a godly disciple of Jesus makes a significant impact on the home! All the wrong choices of a child are not necessarily the fault of bad parenting. However, it is easier to excuse or justify bad parenting and blame others for our own struggles. Be honest and transparent with the Lord today (since He already knows you better than you know yourself). Let’s sum up part 1 of this study with 6 questions.
Are you making choices based on temporary desires or eternal rewards?
Do you appreciate the spiritual inheritance you have in Jesus, or do you consider trading it for fleeting pleasure?
Do you make impulsive decisions, or do you carefully consider the consequences of your choices?
Is there something that comes to mind right now that you know you need to change?
Do you need to ask your children or spouse for forgiveness?
Have you asked for forgiveness for the same thing before, but you continue repeating the problem?
Consider reaching out to a godly friend, pastor, or leader in your church for help today. Your family is too important to ignore the problems. Don’t wait. Reach out for help right now!