There have been key times in my life that the Lord sent someone along my path to bring me comfort.
o During my senior year in college, my doctor falsely diagnosed me with lymphoma. I was in shock and really didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even tell my fiancé right away. I walked back to my dorm in silence…my mind was racing…and then I called my Dad. I eventually got it out and told him the news. He was a night worker at the time. I probably woke him up…but his response was calm, warm, and reassuring – “what can I do to help you son?” What I heard was – “I am on your side. You are not alone. We will do this together.” COMFORT
o When my brother almost died from an aggressive type of cancer, God led a businessman to use his airline miles and hotel rewards program to fly my whole family from Colorado to Wisconsin to see him during one of his hardest times of struggle. We received comfort in the form of needed practical help while we were going to comfort someone else.
o When my mother had a massive heart attack, this church surrounded my family with comfort in the form of prayer and love.
o When I had a long battle with COVID or an unexpected major heart attack…my wife became my primary care giver and my children jumped into our lives to help after seeing a need and simply offering to take care of that need. Some from church also provided a meal or a card simply because they felt led to do it. More Comfort.
If there is one thing I have learned about comforting others after almost dying on two separate occasions in the last two years, it is to prayerfully look for a need and then just meet the need. We must ask God to help us see the need to comfort others. However, we often say, “I just don’t know what to do to comfort them!” Paul gives us some clues regarding comfort through his dealings with the Ephesian church.
Genuine Concern -- Comforts (Acts 20:1; Eph. 1)
The believers just survived a riot in Acts 19. Remember? The city rose up and dragged some of the men from Paul’s mission team into the city’s arena in a mob style justice spectacle! So, the obvious observation is that the city of Ephesus seems unstable for believers. In fact, the recent events in the arena highlight this observation in bright red marker.
Consider some context for a moment: Do not forget that Paul and his mission team had been in Ephesus for months. Their ministry was spiritually profitable, and many were getting saved! But then, as though from out of nowhere, a silversmith stirs up the people with much confusion and a riot suddenly breaks out. So, what does Paul do after this sudden riot is over? Paul shows genuine concern for the disciples in Ephesus. We should also note that it was common practice for the church (even among the men) to warmly greet one another with expressions of kindness (Source: Barnes Notes Commentary. See Luke 7:45; Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; 1 Peter 5:14). However, this parting had a deeper context that included shocking and sudden opposition.
My wife met my family during our third year of college on Christmas break. When I say she met my family, I mean she met ALL of my kissing cousins and their neighbors! You see, during her Christmas visit, my grandmother passed away in our home. At the funeral, every relative (including those I had never met) attended. My family culture was something like, if you are greeting another person, you hug them (and the older ladies kiss you on the cheek). My wife grew up in a different family culture. Two things happened that day. First, Charis met every relative I had and answered a lot of unexpected questions (and she still wanted to marry me!). Second, she was hugged and kissed by MANY people.
What is your common practice as fellow believers? Are you “comforting?” Paul and his mission team were the ones threatened in the riot. However, Paul chose to see past his own trials and that enabled him to see the insecurity and anxiety of these new believers. To comfort someone often requires purposeful actions. Consider these potential ways for the Lord to use you to comfort others:
1. Be Thankful.
In Ephesians 1:16, Paul tells these believers who had witnessed such opposition that he was thankful for them after hearing of their relationship with Jesus. We often do not speak of how thankful we are for the relationship others have with Jesus. Choose to speak your thankfulness.
2. Be Present.
In Acts 19-20, Paul chose not to leave until things settled down in Ephesus. Showing up makes a big impact. It tells the one who is hurting that they are not forgotten or alone. Don’t out stay your welcome but do show up to comfort and encourage a believer.
3. Be Truth-Minded.
In Ephesians 1, Paul begins this epistle with rehearsing that they were chosen before the foundation of the world (Eph. 1:4), adopted by Jesus (Eph. 1:5), accepted by God (1:6), redeemed through Jesus’ blood and their sin is forgiven (Eph. 1:7), and they have an inheritance with Jesus (Eph. 1:11)! Paul reminds a people who lived in an unstable situation how stable they are in Jesus. So, use truth (scripture) to comfort. Read a few comforting verses from the Bible about trusting God (Ps. 46), about the accessible peace of God (Is. 26:3-4), or about the hope we have in God (Ps. 42) to comfort others.
4. Be Prayerful.
In Ephesians 1:16, Paul tells the Ephesian believers that he is praying for them. During Jesus Christ’s greatest struggle before his arrest, we are told He is in the garden asking his friends to pray with Him (Matt. 26:36-46). When you say you will pray for someone, pray for them. Pray with them before you leave their side. Add them to your prayer list. When you visit with them, ask them how things are going about the prayer request you committed to pray over.
5. Be Practical.
In II Timothy 4:13, Paul requests help in receiving the comfort of a coat and books. In Philippians 4:10-23, Paul received the practical help of money and is comforted. Ask the Lord to show you practical ways you can help those experiencing hardships. If you can cook, then tell them you are bringing a meal over tomorrow. If you notice their yard is a mess, show up with a mower and start mowing. If you find out their car is broken down, and you are gifted mechanically, then say something like “us two guys are coming over Saturday to try and fix your car. Is that okay with you?” The polite response is usually, “Oh, you don’t have to do that!” If you believe God has led you to do this, then simply reply, “we really believe God wants us to do this. Please let us help!” You see, it is not that those hurting do not need the help, but they often turn help away because they do not want to be a burden to someone else – or they feel guilty receiving help — or they think they can handle it all by themselves (and that is usually adrenaline talking when the need is new).
Some of the greatest comforts that I have received throughout my heart attack recovery has been my wife showing me empathy (and not frustration). I have not heard one word of frustration over the crazy medical bills I have generated, or over how I had thrown her 28 piano students lesson schedule into utter confusion, or how she was now doing all my regular chores and her own. No, the greatest comfort I received was my wife focusing on how glad she was that I was still here and that the bills or the chores will get cared for eventually. The truth is, I find myself still needing to hear that from time to time. Traumatic events take longer to recover from than I expected.
Who do you know that has had a few hard months…or a few hard years? Ask God to use you to comfort them. We must ask God to help us see the need and the way we ought comfort others.
“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.” – II Cor. 1:3-4
“Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” – Matt. 11:28