6 Actions for Those Discouraged by the Choices of Others

Review: In Acts 13:8-12, the gospel was opposed.  A man named Barjesus (a sorcerer), attempted to distract Sergius Paulus (a deputy among government officials) from hearing the truth of the gospel.  Paul took a stand for truth.  It was bold, public, and uncomfortable.  Remember from our study two weeks ago?  Paul called Barjesus, the opposer of the gospel, these four things:

·       a child of the devil

·       a liar

·       an enemy of righteousness

·       …and then (if that was not clear enough) Paul calls him out for perverting the “right ways of the Lord.” 

Sounds harsh, doesn’t it?  Yet, we must take into consideration what Paul was defending.  Paul was not defending opinion or personal preference.  If he was, more grace and patience would need to be exercised in generous portions!  No, Paul was defending life and death matters involving absolute truth.  Paul was defending the gospel, the true message of good news.  No doubt, such defense tactics must be dependent of one who is Spirit-filled, not brash and mean to simply achieve the upper hand, but one who is controlled by the Holy Spirit of God.  The outcome of this particular defense of truth is the salvation of the government official.  Now here lies immense impact that makes the difference between eternal life or eternal death!

With the enabling grace of God, stand for the truth of the Word of God…learn the gospel, live the gospel, share the gospel, and defend the gospel while still breathing on this earth!

My wife and I will have been married 31 years this December.  Through these years we have had 5 children.  Something kind of surprised us in raising children – they grew up and left us!  Mentally we knew they would do that; however, when you are raising them – to some extent – you do not really think about them leaving.  For a time, as parents, it feels like this is how it will always be.  But several years ago, the oldest child got married…then eventually two more followed.  This was an adjustment for us.  The children were excited to spread their wings and launch out on their own.  The children were headed out for an adventure!  Charis and I had been on our adventure of raising a family…and now we needed to find new adventures God had in store for us.

Years ago, I knew of several families that began attending a particular church.  It was the first time each of these families had attended a church, worshipped with other believers, and served God through the local church in 10 years. In essence, they had gotten “off mission.”  They all came from different backgrounds.  None of the families knew each other until they began attending this church, but they all had a similar story: a believer was offended by another believer, a Christian leader embraced sinful choices, or too many “hypocritical Christians” attended their former church – and they all shut down.  They became antagonistic towards other believers.  They started withdrawing from church and quickly found themselves out of church for over 10 years.  “They wanted time to heal,” is what they would say.  The problem is, God enables healing in and through the local church body.  In addition, staying away from the local church for a decade is clearly not what God intended. The discouraging choices of other believers may have been why it took them so long to return to church.

To be sure, the kind of events that moved these believers to leave church were discouraging events indeed!  I would not belittle the significance of such events.  They were discouraging, to be sure.  Yet, there is a life lesson to be gleaned from these circumstances – there will be discouraging circumstances among the church.  Afterall, we are all fallen.  The flesh and Spirit wrestle within us all!  So, how ought we walk through such discouraging events?

JOHN MARK LEAVES! (13:13)

A significant event takes place in Acts 13:13, but it is only mentioned in this chapter with one phrase: “…and John departing from them returned to Jerusalem.”  We will see as we follow Paul through the book of Acts, that this event has a far greater impact on Paul AND Barnabas than is indicted in Acts 13:13.  Nothing is really stated about this departure from the mission team.  In fact, Acts 13:14 declares that the next thing they did was travel to Antioch and go to the synagogue in Pisidia on the sabbath.  Yet, we will discover in Acts 15:37-39 that when John Mark wanted to return to the team, they fought about it.  There is no recorded conversation about his departure when he left, but when he was wanting to return, they finally have “the talk!”  This disagreement ends with Paul and Barnabas going their separate ways.

The hurt of a ministry co-laborer leaving the team/the church ministry/the parachurch organization/the overseas mission team can be significant!  There will often be discouragement, defeat, and sometimes there is derailment.  Discouragement can come with the LEIJAH COMPLEX — thinking, “I alone am serving…no one else is working like me…I wish I could leave too!”  Rehearsing such discouragement then moves me into a weak position – open to resentment, anger, and bitterness.  Rehearsing such thoughts moves me to spiritual defeat. Unfortunately, with these sins left unconfessed and nurtured, derailment swiftly follows.  Some believers stop reading their Bible, stop praying, start missing church services, and quietly slip away (hoping no one will notice them because they ultimately know what they are thinking is wrong and they know they cannot Biblically defend their decisions, but because of resentment and bitterness, they insist on those decisions anyway).

What can we do?

 6 Actions When Facing Discouragement from Others:

1.     PRAY.

Do this first.  Even if you do not know what to say, tell God that as well! If you do not feel like praying, pray anyway.  Pray through one or more of the Psalms (Ps. 19:14; 25:4; 27:1).  Pray through the names of God (a quick online search will help with this).  Pray the words of a doctrinally rich song, like: “How Great Thou Art,” “Great is Thy Faithfulness,” or “In Christ Alone.”   Rom. 8:26.

2.     TALK.  

Before the regular rehearsing of discouraged thinking, like, “I am serving all alone and no one cares,” talk to a trusted counselor. Prov. 11:14; 15:22. If you wait, you will end up getting angry at the co-laborers that are serving Jesus, you will not even know why you are upset.  Trying to hide, or embracing being too embarrassed to ask for help, will delay your relationship depth with Jesus and others for years…or it will be your undoing.

3.     LOOK.

Keep a sharp eye out for the person serving in multiple ministries at church.  Offer to help.  Do not be content watching other people get busy.  Look to serve to honor God and be concerned when you would rather sit on the bench and be served.  If you cannot serve in specific places because of poor health, choose to encourage those who can serve.  Call them up and pray over them and their ministry.  Other to do craft prep (i.e. - cutting things out while you sit in a chair at home) or offer to research games ideas for a children’s Bible club from your resource of your own computer or a copy of the lessons plans. Gal. 6:1-9.

4.     REMEMBER.

Do not forget that God is the director of man’s heart and steps (Prov. 19:21).  We cannot make anyone choose to serve God or seek counsel.  Maybe there are others that should be serving and seem to be doing nothing for God from our vantage point; in fact, there probably are!  Remember, we are not in control of their choices, but we are in control of our choices.  So, remember, we do not serve because others serve.  We serve God because we choose God above any other choice.  Also, remember we do not know everything about another person’s choices, and we ourselves have made wrong choices as well!  Rom. 14:11-13.

5.     TRUST.

I recently attended a Pastor’s meeting in the Milwaukee area.  On my way there, I ran into lane closures and heavy traffic.  To track my progress and my ETA, I used google maps.  In the middle of this long traffic jam, google maps said I needed to take the next exit (which all God’s people in the car – me – said, “AMEN!”). However, I did not recognize these directions, but I followed google maps anyway.  No sooner did I get to the end of the ramp that google maps then said to drive straight across the road and get right back on the same highway.  Google maps seemed to be taking me out of my way, but in reality, it had enabled me to avoid a longer line of traffic that was now behind me.

So, what do we do when God’s directions do not make sense?  We follow them anyway!  The Lord will work as He says He will work (II Cor. 1:20).  He will provide for what He has ordered.  His provision will be in His timing and in His way.  Prov. 3:5-7.

6.     MOVE. 

We cannot let the choices of others be the reason we stop pursuing God!  We did not start following the Lord and serving the Lord because others were “doing it.”  Nor should we allow such things to be the reasons to stop following God and stop serving God. Keep on keeping on, worship God, and do all to the glory of God!  I Cor. 10:31; Phil. 3:14; Col. 3:17, 23.