Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor in television, Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists and novelists, said, "What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me."
As daunting as this true-life story is, it is not just unsaved, unchurched people who long for forgiveness and restored relationships with friends and family. There are many in the church today who look at forgiveness as something that seems far off and impossible. There are believers who claim to have forgiven another, but they haven’t stopped rehearsing the offense and they continue efforts to make that person feel the hurt that they endured years ago. What are we doing? How did we get here? This one another phrase, forgive one another, impacts us all to the depths of our gospel living. Our response to these passages of scripture can help or hold back the very tide of Holy Spirit revival! We, the church, must get better at forgiveness…better at Holy Spirit dependence…better at yielded hearts…better at ready hearts.
What is Forgiveness?
1. FORGIVENESS IS A COMMAND.
Lk. 17:1-5; Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13
We begin with one of the hardest realities of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a command. In the gospel of Luke, Jesus was teaching the disciples about forgiveness. One asks if they should forgive seven times and Jesus says they should forgive 70 times 7. That is a daunting response! Did you see the response of the disciples? They said, “Increase our faith!”
So, Luke 17 tells us how far this command reaches. Ephesians 4:32 tells us how to forgive – with kindness and a tender heart. Ephesians 4:32 also tells us to gaze on the model of forgiveness, God almighty. Colossians 3:13 personalizes the command applying it my own quarrels — to how I have been hurt — and the forgiveness I have personally received because of Jesus!
Sometimes a parent will ask their child to do something that the child will show resistance towards. Perhaps they felt as though it would cause them to miss out on something they preferred to do, or perhaps they questioned whether it was the best thing to do. Maybe they thought a friend’s party would be fun, but the parents knew no adult supervision would be present. Maybe they thought a cross country road trip would be a great plan three months after they got their license, but although the parents believed the child to be a good driver, they knew the child was an inexperienced driver. Or maybe the child really wanted the shoes all of their friends were talking about, but the parents knew that spending that high price for shoes was not good stewardship of their money. At some point, the child needs to trust their parent’s decision…even though it was the decision they did not want. If a child does not trust a parent who simply shows common sense (and Biblical sense), they will struggle with resentment, anger, and possibly bitterness. For the one who still lives at home, following your parent’s guidance is the Biblical order from God. It is a temporary order and all too soon a child will be on their own to do as they wish for the rest of their life — but a child never out grows their accountability to God. How a child yields to their parent is often transferred to how they yield to the Lord as an adult…and yielding to and trusting the Lord is a crucial ingredient to forgiveness.
Of course, this illustration is pale in comparison to the commands of God. God is without fault, sees all, knows all, and loves you and me beyond measure.
Faith in God is crucial for obeying an unwanted command.
I cannot obey the command without faith. Think about it. We are removed from our comfort zones when God commands us to share His saving grace with strangers, to serve others, to be kind to others, and to love even our enemies. To forgive, as God commands, removes us far from our comfort zones as well…and it requires faith! Faith in God that He has seen every action/word (Prov. 15:3), that He is a just judge (Rom. 2:2), that He will not be mocked (Gal. 6:7-8), that He loves me extravagantly (Jer. 31:3; Jn. 3:16; I Jn. 4:19), that He is my peace (I Pet. 5:7; Phil. 4:6-7), and that He will not leave me or forsake me (Heb. 13:5).
2. FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE
No human being deserves the forgiveness of another human being. Forgiveness is an act of my will that demonstrates grace, love, and mercy. Remember, I do not deserve God’s mercy, but He gives it to me abundantly (Ps. 86:5).
We all have a choice to make when the failures of other human beings touch our life…just as our failures will touch the life of another human being. But what must we never forget? We must never lose sight of our how our failures touched the life of Jesus Christ. Luke 6:36 profoundly points us to this truth.
3. FORGIVENESS RELEASES YOU.
It is the decision to not hold something against another person. God has done this for you and me (Ps. 103:12). Forgiveness releases you from embracing the destructive power of bitterness (Eph. 4:31-32).
Think about it. When God forgives, He releases the sinner from any penalty and dismisses all charges (Rom. 8:1; Col. 1:14) … and we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32b)!
4. FORGIVENESS IS MODELED BY GOD TO YOU PERSONALLY.
How does God forgive? (Eph. 4:32; Col. 3:13)
a. Psalm 86:5 – God is good (not mean or angry).
b. Psalm 86:5 – God stands ready to forgive.
c. Luke 23:34 – Jesus forgives the unforgiveable
d. I John 1:9 – Jesus forgives whenever we confess (see my sin the same as God sees it). He is able to do this because He is faithful and just.
e. I John 1:9 – Jesus forgives to the point of wiping the slate clean.
Our spirit of forgiveness cannot be based on the degree of our hurt.
Our forgiveness must be based on our relationship with Jesus. Never lose sight of the degree to which God forgave you and of what He forgave you.
5. FORGIVENESS IS SEPARATE FROM TRUST.
Trust is earned. Forgiveness is given.
Consider the horrific example of a husband who physically beats up his wife. Unfortunately, a common response for such a husband is to become overwhelmed with his actions, after the fact. He will then cry, apologize to his wife, and beg her to forgive him. Many times, out of love/confusion/fear, the wife will forgive her husband without insisting on change. The husband then assumes everything returns to normal – as though nothing has happened. Time passes and the husband repeats the entire cycle of abuse. Lord willing, the wife finds her way to right thinking and tells her husband that she forgives him, but she does not trust him and that everything cannot continue as “normal.” She tells him he will need to move out, get counseling, and make serious changes before she can trust him enough for him to move back home.
We hear that example and think, “Of course!” However, when we have broken someone’s trust, we often want trust and forgiveness freely given. Trust and forgiveness are separate things entirely. Regaining trust and restoring relationship involve time, prayer, counsel, and much effort. They are not automatically accomplished because forgiveness has been given.
6. FORGIVENESS FORGIVES AS MANY TIMES AS ARE NECESSARY.
Explanation: Refusing to forgive demonstrates anger, resentment, and bitterness – and none of these choices demonstrate godly Christian character. The refusal to forgive deeply hurts the one refusing and has long term outcomes. God’s forgiveness towards humanity knows no boundary and our forgiveness for others should have no limit as well (Lk. 17:3-4)…when enabled by the grace of God and placing faith in God. But remember, trusting the one who broke the trust is a separate issue altogether.
Dr. John R. Rice, a great evangelist now with the Lord, was asked to conduct a revival meeting at a Baptist church in Woodbine, Texas. Divisions and strife had broken the heart of the pastor until he had resigned and left. The county missionary, hoping to see the church revived and God’s work made prosperous, asked Dr. Rice to come and preach the revival services. He found the whole community divided. One or more deacons had had fist fights in the quarrel that had reached nearly every home. Many had taken a vow never to return to the little church.
Dr. Rice never did find out most of the details of the division. But with a burden in his soul, he preached against sin, urged God’s people to clean up their lives, and pleaded with them to make peace with their neighbors. Night after night he preached. Those who had been angry at others were now angry with him.
One morning, a woman in the community started to make a telephone call to tell Dr. Rice just what she thought of all his meddling in their affairs. But her nineteen year old son stopped her and said, “Mother, you are wrong! I have just been out in the woods to pray. I know Brother Rice is right. If we Christians do not get right with each other, we can never have a revival. I for one am going to try to get right.” His mother did not make the phone call.
In the next service, Dr. Rice called for a time of testimony. With tears streaming down her face, one woman rose to beg forgiveness of another woman with whom she had quarreled. The other woman swiftly rose and came to meet her. They put their arms around one another and wept in the aisle. Confessions came from all parts of the building. The deep moving of God was upon the people as they began to make restitution, ask forgiveness, and seek Christian fellowship again.
That afternoon the news went like wildfire. That night the little church building was crowded. People came to church who had not been there in months—some who had vowed they would never enter the building again. From the very beginning of the service the Holy Spirit was there. Dr. Rice preached the Gospel, and at the invitation men and women accepted Jesus as their Saviour with tears streaming down their faces. Dozens of people were saved, hundreds of Christians were revived, and people came from miles to fill that little church for the rest of the meeting that lasted four weeks! (Source: Unknown)
Jesus is coming soon. You do not know when…I do not know when. When He comes for the church, we will come before Him to answer for how we lived the gospel. We, the church, must get better at forgiveness. I am asking you today, “How are you doing with gospel living?”